A practical romantic's obsession with "hopeless" rom coms.

and some of my past and current favorites.

I recently binge-watched, One Day, a re-adaption of David Nicholls’ 2009 romantic novel. The story follows the lives of Emma and Dexter after they spend the night together just before university graduation, showing a snapshot of what their lives look like on July 15th of each year, as they become best friends, grow closer and apart, grow older, dreams change, and fall in love with other people over twenty years.

I remember watching the film adaption, starred by Anne Hathaway more than ten years ago during high school when it first came out. Deeply touched by their love, friendship, and something called fate, I bawled and wondered if I’d ever find my person in life. I was suspicious going into this Netflix series, doubting it would ever top the film I fell in love with as a teenager. It did, and I was reminded why I still love a good, cheesy rom-com so much.

Compared to the one-hour and forty-minute movie, the 14-episode Netflix series has the luxury of a longer runway for character building and contains more nuance in the story arch. I bawled throughout the last few episodes as Emma and Dexter finally come to realize how important they are to each other. It broke my heart when Emma confides her feelings to Dexter after they had not spoken to each other for a few years, and then congratulates him for getting married. The poignant struggle between deeply loving someone and feeling joy for their happiness can be one of the most heartwrenching emotions.

The show is moving, and beautiful, yet heartbreaking. Some could argue that the show could pack it all in under six episodes, but I loved the long, windy road it takes for the story to end. Real life is always long and windy, and this show feels more like it.

The 2024 Netflix series

The 2011 feature film

I’ve long been a sucker for a good rom-com before I even knew there was a name for that.

Growing up in China, I spent many days (and nights) over school breaks throughout middle school watching English-speaking romantic comedies to improve my English. Over the summer break, I’d watch two to three movies a day, late into the wee hours of the morning, deeply immersed in the protagonists' emotions on screen. Starting with the film adaption of The Notebook (2004), thanks to my mom’s introduction, followed by an impulsive purchase of one of Nicholas Sparks’ early novels at an airport magazine stand, I soon discovered that Sparks’ novels were an easier and addictive read for my English-learning younger self to digest and understand.

It was a turning point for me. I went from reading English for academic purposes to enjoying the texts and stories. From there, I read many of his novels, and then watched the film adaptions, from Dear John (2010) to The Last Song (2010), to A Walk to Remember (2002). Each time, with a tissue box by my side, I’d be crying my eyes out and have to explain my puffy eyes to my parents the next day when I woke up.

The myriad of Nicholas Sparks novels and their movie adaptions.

Besides Sparks, I’ve watched my fair share of romantic comedies that came out in the 2000s and the early 2010s: 500 Days of Summer (2009), the Holiday (2006), Love Actually (2003), Notting Hill (1999), A Cinderella Story (2004), Leap Year (2010) and The Princess Diaries (2001), to name a few of my all-time favorites. Influenced by these Western rom-coms and a sweep of Chinese teen romance dramas, I developed my idealized version of what love is all about and how my “meet cute” scene could unfold, just like in the movies.

My earlier understanding of love, romance, and relationships mainly focused on how two people would meet and overcome difficulties to be together. Just like the rom-coms that rarely show what happens after two people end up together, I rarely thought about “the after” until I started my first serious relationship with my then boyfriend and now husband. Almost a decade of relationship and two years of marriage later, I’ve grown into a practical romantic, which I define as one that still deeply believes in love, but also understands that a long-lasting relationship requires hard work, skills, and continued learning and practice.

Most films about romance or love focus on the extremities of love: two people overcoming tremendous obstacles to finally be together, think Sleepless in Seattle (1993) or Silver Linings Playbook (2012); two people who love each other but are separated by external forces, think Titanic (1997) or Brokeback Mountain (2005); or the perils of mundanity that lead to marriages gone wrong, think Revolutionary Road (2008) or Marriage Story (2019). There are not enough "practical romance movies that deal with the everyday, mundane aspects of love, romantic relationships, and marriage, because our everyday lives are the opposite of drama and drama makes good movies.

Even though I now call myself a practical romantic, watching One Day (2024) last week reminded me that I am still a sucker for those tearjerking, hopeless rom-coms where everyone owns a cute apartment full of sunshine, no laundry needs to be done, and where, in the end, love conquers all.

I’ve grown old enough to know that rom-coms rarely resemble real life. And when they do, only snapshots of it. But I still love them, for the emotional truths they tell about life and love, the tinkling of first love, the pining of waiting for someone you have a crush on to text you back, the bliss of being in love, and the poignant truths of unfulfilled love.

Here is a trailer from One Day (2024). I hope you enjoy it.

Until next time,

Yuezhong