My 2021 in Review
It's been a year of missing home and finding a new one, feeling lighter, living in the present, learning how to put thoughts into words.
Looking through all the blog notes I saved, I found a draft of "2019 in review" that was never finished and a completed "2020 in the review" that was never published. Now, in December 2021, at the end of a year that perhaps passed by too quickly, I'm writing my 2021 in review, refusing to let another year go by without properly remembering the things that happened and things I made happen. The gesture itself comforts me, telling me that by writing something down, I am properly ending this year. As the old Chinese saying goes, the palest ink is better than the best memory (好记性不如烂笔头). As such, I will try to put my thoughts and memories into words.
Changes
2021 has been a year of many changes. I moved to Oakland in October and finally feel settled down with the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with, after nearly six years of living apart, in a place that I can finally call home. For the first time in a long time, I am living in the present tense, not having to wonder what will happen next year and how to plan for it. I didn't know it before and thought it was just the way life is, that you always look onward and forward. I didn't know how heavy that made me feel before until I started to feel lighter these days. It's an incredible feeling - not having to think about where I will be a year from now, work or immigration-wise. I had been wondering when I could finally be in the same place with my partner, and I can stop wondering now. And I am so grateful for that.
Family
Another year went by without seeing my family. It's hard to believe that it has been three whole years without going home or them visiting me. It's been really hard, and sometimes I will try to ignore how much I've missed home by pushing away all my sadness and tears as if that could cure my homesickness. Last week, someone was complaining at a party that they'd spent way too much time with their family over Thanksgiving that they couldn't wait to leave the next day. I tried to remember what that feels like- spending too much time with your family. I remember that feeling when my parents came to visit me in the US a few years ago, I would spend every single second with them for two weeks straight. Now I cherish those times and only wish I could have more of that.
Books
At the end of 2020, I set a goal to read 30 books in 2021, and I am pleased to report that I've read 34 so far. The goal is not really to count the numbers but to intentionally squeeze reading into my life. Now that I have started commuting to work via public transit, I have more time to read. I also started posting "mini-book reviews" on my Instagram as a way to hold myself accountable for giving the proper attention a book or the author deserves. Rather than quickly moving on from one book to the next, I now think more about the stories and the characters I just encountered and wrote down how they made me feel or think about life a little differently.
Food & Cooking
I started to have more fun with trying out different recipes, tweaking them, adding my own take on them, and treating cooking not just as a means to an end, but as a creative process. I failed many times too - freestyling my way out of recipes by adding less sugar or switching out one thing for another. That's all part of the joy of cooking and trying. My partner also said that I am reaching a "new milestone" in-home cooking, where I could quickly put together a flavorful dish using ingredients that we already have. However, I still have many unread cookbooks on the shelf that needs to be consumed in the coming year. This is going to be one of my goals for 2022.
Here are some fun pictures from our baking adventure.
2021 has been a year filled with many homemade desserts; time spent on (mostly) good books; silly but happy moments with friends; time in the outdoors; packing and unpacking; connecting with friends; and re-watching the entire series of Mad Men and The Big Bang Theory and loving them even more.
2021 has also been a year of many firsts for me: crawfish harvesting, sportfishing out on the ocean, trying out archery (so addicting!), reading more than 30 books a year, and feeling at home in America. There were still times when I felt sad, anxious, blah, nervous, and unsure about life and what was ahead, but these small unforgettable moments remind me how lucky I am to still be alive and living.
There were things that happened, and things that I made happen. It's been a year of missing home and finding a new one, feeling lighter, living in the present, learning how to put thoughts into words, and gradually finding my path.
It took me a few days to write this, and I found it rather difficult to finish and hit "publish". There are more things I could write about and ruminate over. After all, it's impossible to fit an entire year into one post, and I need to just be happy with what I have here. Let's end with this photo I took a few days ago in Half Moon Bay when we were on our way to harvest some mussels. It was windy and cold, but the sunset was beautiful.
