The Joy and Sorrows of Moving
No matter how many times I have moved, it never gets easier.
Every Tiny Thought is where I share bookish thoughts on diverse stories from around the world (occasionally before publication), tiny joyous things, and finding home in America. If you are new here, welcome!
Standing in my now-empty living room, I was overwhelmed by a wave of emotions: the sorrow of leaving behind a place that holds so many cherished memories, the uncertainty of starting over again, the excitement of a new adventure, and the joy of a fresh start.
Over the last ten years, I’ve moved countless times across five states. But I always underestimated how the sorrow of moving can easily overtake the joy and excitement. Sadness slowly crept up on me as I sat on the floor going through my belongings, trying to decide what to take and what to leave behind. I realized that no matter how many times I have done it, it never gets easier. Each move has been an emotional rollercoaster of sifting through the memories of my journey in the US and realizing how far I have come and how long it had been since I left home.
Leaving a place makes us emotional because of the magic called life that happened there. I am leaving behind a home where my partner and I got married, hosted dinner parties where conversations with friends lasted past midnight, celebrated holidays away from our families, and found solace at the end of a difficult day. It’s hard to say goodbye to a space that I called home for the first time more than a decade after I left my childhood home not knowing when I’d be home again. I felt exposed and vulnerable, like taking off my down jacket before walking into the snow.
Despite the physical exhaustion and the inevitable sadness, each move has given me the chance to let go of things that do not serve a purpose anymore. I have also been able to re-examine life, look inward, and find comfort within myself when the rooms become empty and the walls turn bare. Each move feels like growing up a little bit more.
As I slowly cleared away the boxes in our new home, the feeling of joy and excitement slowly started to push away the sorrow that still lingers in the corner. I look forward to soon discovering my new favorite corner to read a book, finding my new routine, and creating new memories here. Perhaps I am not so different from my houseplants after all - it only takes a little while to readjust to the sunlight that now comes from a different direction.
I am glad to be home again.
Over the last couple of weeks, I was exhausted from all the packing and unpacking, and barely had energy left for anything else at the end of each day. I followed my advice and took a short break from writing. Although I missed it terribly, I am grateful for allowing myself the space to focus and recover. Thank you for still being here.
Tell me in the comments, how do you deal with saying goodbye to people and places that you’ve come to love dearly?
Until next time,
Yuezhong
There’s no easy way to say goodbye. I thought I have had a lot of practice since I have moved or traveled across the world, states, cities, homes, offices, and schools in almost 20 years. But, my stomach would still crunch, and tears would well up uncontrollably at that moment when I knew that the second I turned my back, I would not see those people, places, desks, beds—again. As much as I tried to convince myself that... "it’s life, I have to move on" - my mind would race with questions like "am I making the worst decision?" "Will I see them again?" "What if I don’t like where I am going?" "Argh, I should have said..." - which were all too late!
I surrendered. I surrendered to the emotions, and I felt sad in that moment. I said my goodbyes and expressed my gratitude. I thanked them for the moments we got to spend together, the good and the bad, and for everything I got to learn, generate, and let go.
At the same time, my feet would walk where I needed to go. I could still move forward, even while my heart was processing my grief.
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Thanks for the prompt! Enjoy your new home 🏡
I have moved 30 plus times in my life across 4 continents and 9 countries - never, gets, easier. Good luck with the move!