Yuezhong, this brought smiles and tears.. I can so related to the dual cultural expectations, even today, I am trying to fit into both. I appreciated you voicing your parents view, and why they feel the need to invite everyone. This resonates in the Indian community and I have seen my friends battle the scenarios with their children as they plan the big weddings. As a parent, this may be influenced by my culture, I feel I would want to invite folks that may have helped me with pregnancies, early years of my children's lives and totally understand that my children may not know them and feel why these strangers are at their wedding. For me it's a family celebration. I don't know what will happen when I have to cross that bridge...,
Nita, I so appreciate you sharing these. It took a long time to come around as well. Now that we've done it, I think I understood better the value of these family celebrations and traditions. It's worth it after seeing the smile on everyone's face :) Miss you!
You know it’s serious when both moms start to take charge…. my friend who got married in the US came back to Hong Kong to hold a family-organised wedding dinner for friends and family back home. I asked him about the planning process, and he said they had no idea, their role was just to show up and smile 😂
Your wedding is a beautiful story of what a true reunion is -- between you and your husband and about where you both come from. Your wedding banquet must have made everyone present so happy especially your parents.
I also had my small wedding with 9 people at the City Hall of San Francisco (without my senior parents) and did what we wanted (as I am a much older bride!). As my parents wished, we fulfilled very minimum traditions like "tea-pouring" over Zoom and then presenting gifts to parents, but no wedding banquet when we were back home in HK!
Like Jenna, I knew where it's headed too once I read "just a dinner"...
Despite having lived most of my life in Malaysia, steeped in the Chinese culture, I was also against the big wedding banquet personally. Yes, I would attend all my good friends' banquet, but I know I don't want one when it's my turn. We had our dream small intimate wedding in Germany, but as you would have guessed, we did not manage to escape the one back home - "how are we going to answer to family and friends if not?" cried every Chinese parents.
So I gave them one caveat - the maximum numbers of guests allowed - in hopes to keep it to only truly important people in our lives, and they honored that. The rest I let them decide, I came only as a prop to the wedding too. And no, I did not really enjoyed it as expected, but it's ok.
But, I love the Chinese culture of Cham cha - the wedding tea ceremony. I find it a beautiful ritual, to introduce my husband to my family. So I was happy, the parents were happy and I hope the guests too!
I'm glad you had the after party gathering with your close friends, those are precious chances to gather and reconnect! ❤️
Yes, it's inescapable! If you don't do it, they will be talking about it forever. Now that's over and they are happy, you can all move on to the next thing!
We skipped the tea ceremony part of the wedding, but I totally agree that it's a really beautiful ritual. So glad that your husband was able to experience that.
I was just talking to my Argentine friend yesterday about individual vs collective cultures and how they show up in our adult lives. You so eloquently illustrate it in this piece; I’m glad you were able to enjoy the moment and your loved ones!
Thank you, Ashleigh! These values really follow us into adult lives as we come across people from different cultures. I look forward to reading more of your travel tales!
Lovely decoration and wise decision to go along with the tradition. I am sure you will savor the moments in the years the come!
BTW, I love the R&G Lounge! 😊
Isn't R&G the best?! We try to go every now and then!
Yuezhong, this brought smiles and tears.. I can so related to the dual cultural expectations, even today, I am trying to fit into both. I appreciated you voicing your parents view, and why they feel the need to invite everyone. This resonates in the Indian community and I have seen my friends battle the scenarios with their children as they plan the big weddings. As a parent, this may be influenced by my culture, I feel I would want to invite folks that may have helped me with pregnancies, early years of my children's lives and totally understand that my children may not know them and feel why these strangers are at their wedding. For me it's a family celebration. I don't know what will happen when I have to cross that bridge...,
Nita, I so appreciate you sharing these. It took a long time to come around as well. Now that we've done it, I think I understood better the value of these family celebrations and traditions. It's worth it after seeing the smile on everyone's face :) Miss you!
The banquet looks beautiful. And I knew where this was heading as soon as I started reading....
I knew you'd understand!
You know it’s serious when both moms start to take charge…. my friend who got married in the US came back to Hong Kong to hold a family-organised wedding dinner for friends and family back home. I asked him about the planning process, and he said they had no idea, their role was just to show up and smile 😂
I am realizing that many Asian parents are the same 🤣 and that we weren't alone in our experiences! Thanks for sharing that, Claire :)
Your wedding is a beautiful story of what a true reunion is -- between you and your husband and about where you both come from. Your wedding banquet must have made everyone present so happy especially your parents.
I also had my small wedding with 9 people at the City Hall of San Francisco (without my senior parents) and did what we wanted (as I am a much older bride!). As my parents wished, we fulfilled very minimum traditions like "tea-pouring" over Zoom and then presenting gifts to parents, but no wedding banquet when we were back home in HK!
Your wedding sounds lovely as well - what a great way to honor the traditions and involve your family without spending too much $$!
Congrats on going paid! Hoping to do the same someday.
Like Jenna, I knew where it's headed too once I read "just a dinner"...
Despite having lived most of my life in Malaysia, steeped in the Chinese culture, I was also against the big wedding banquet personally. Yes, I would attend all my good friends' banquet, but I know I don't want one when it's my turn. We had our dream small intimate wedding in Germany, but as you would have guessed, we did not manage to escape the one back home - "how are we going to answer to family and friends if not?" cried every Chinese parents.
So I gave them one caveat - the maximum numbers of guests allowed - in hopes to keep it to only truly important people in our lives, and they honored that. The rest I let them decide, I came only as a prop to the wedding too. And no, I did not really enjoyed it as expected, but it's ok.
But, I love the Chinese culture of Cham cha - the wedding tea ceremony. I find it a beautiful ritual, to introduce my husband to my family. So I was happy, the parents were happy and I hope the guests too!
I'm glad you had the after party gathering with your close friends, those are precious chances to gather and reconnect! ❤️
Yes, it's inescapable! If you don't do it, they will be talking about it forever. Now that's over and they are happy, you can all move on to the next thing!
We skipped the tea ceremony part of the wedding, but I totally agree that it's a really beautiful ritual. So glad that your husband was able to experience that.
Wow… what a wonderful story
Thank you, Jeroen, for your support :)
You are very welcome
I was just talking to my Argentine friend yesterday about individual vs collective cultures and how they show up in our adult lives. You so eloquently illustrate it in this piece; I’m glad you were able to enjoy the moment and your loved ones!
Thank you, Ashleigh! These values really follow us into adult lives as we come across people from different cultures. I look forward to reading more of your travel tales!
Thank you for reading, Yuezhong! ☺️