I think so much of being a parent is existing in two states at once. I usually refer to the “happy/sads” but there is also “ugly/beautiful”.
Pregnancy is such a rough ride. It was so hard to see my wife go through that and feel helpless to take away the discomfort and pain.
At one point, early in the 3rd trimester, she said “I’m tired of being a fucking baby house.” She felt like an object of utility, a function missing its form.
We both love being parents but every day brings happy/sads and ugly/beautifuls. I don’t think I could have truly understood the fullness of existence without going on this journey with my wife.
Thank you for your very kind and beautiful words, Bo! This is such a great way to describe parenthood: holding dualities (ugly/beautiful and happy/sad). From the way you described here, you've been a very empathetic and helpful husband. I am grateful that my husband has been very helpful so far. He does most of the chores around the house now. He loads/unloads the dishwasher, cooks, does the laundry, and of course, all the heavy lifting, leaving me to mostly only carry this baby. Fingers crossed that rest of it will go smoothly too.
Congrats on your baby and I hope your path will get smoother fingers crossed.
I read a recent piece by Haley Nahman at Maybe Baby about being a mom that came to mind when I read your post.
Personally never had a baby but I do feel like women sometimes are gaslight to only say nice things about pregnancy and child rearing while they can be chaotic and stressful like most hard things in life. Like whatever, you can want to have kids and dont like pregnancy or certain aspects of the process. Being a mom doesnt make you a saint. Just two cents from someone who has no credentials whatsoever lol.
Pregancy may not always feel beautiful, but your life is filled with so many tiny beautiful moments! Wishing you lots of strength, take care❤️! And I can’t wait to meet your little girl🥰
Pregnancy is different for everyone, yet we also experience many similar things. Sometimes during my pregnancy, when I had enough quiet time, and my legs were not bloated beyond recognition, and my pelvic pain stopped throbbing for a moment, I reveled in the fact that a life is growing inside of me.
So happy you enjoyed the Lemon Miso Pound Cake! I wholeheartedly agree that substack, books, and media need more and more diverse voices. Loved reading this too! Wishing you lots of peace comfort for the remainder of your pregnancy!
I respectfully disagree here. Storytelling can be absolutely honest. It's about telling stories that convey the emotional truths and the essence of life experiences.
Enjoy every moment of this journey, Yuezhong! ❤️
Thank you, Yi! I saw your newsletter came in earlier this week about your trip to China. I look forward to reading it!
I think so much of being a parent is existing in two states at once. I usually refer to the “happy/sads” but there is also “ugly/beautiful”.
Pregnancy is such a rough ride. It was so hard to see my wife go through that and feel helpless to take away the discomfort and pain.
At one point, early in the 3rd trimester, she said “I’m tired of being a fucking baby house.” She felt like an object of utility, a function missing its form.
We both love being parents but every day brings happy/sads and ugly/beautifuls. I don’t think I could have truly understood the fullness of existence without going on this journey with my wife.
Hang in there!
Thank you for your very kind and beautiful words, Bo! This is such a great way to describe parenthood: holding dualities (ugly/beautiful and happy/sad). From the way you described here, you've been a very empathetic and helpful husband. I am grateful that my husband has been very helpful so far. He does most of the chores around the house now. He loads/unloads the dishwasher, cooks, does the laundry, and of course, all the heavy lifting, leaving me to mostly only carry this baby. Fingers crossed that rest of it will go smoothly too.
Best wishes as I can understand your helplessness.
Congrats on your baby and I hope your path will get smoother fingers crossed.
I read a recent piece by Haley Nahman at Maybe Baby about being a mom that came to mind when I read your post.
Personally never had a baby but I do feel like women sometimes are gaslight to only say nice things about pregnancy and child rearing while they can be chaotic and stressful like most hard things in life. Like whatever, you can want to have kids and dont like pregnancy or certain aspects of the process. Being a mom doesnt make you a saint. Just two cents from someone who has no credentials whatsoever lol.
Thank you, Minh. 100% to what you said. This post is doing exactly that: to sulk in all the chaos and messiness of life!
P.S. Arthur’s stool looks great 🤣
I will let him know that haha!
Pregancy may not always feel beautiful, but your life is filled with so many tiny beautiful moments! Wishing you lots of strength, take care❤️! And I can’t wait to meet your little girl🥰
I also can't wait for you guys to visit soon, whenever that will be!
Pregnancy is different for everyone, yet we also experience many similar things. Sometimes during my pregnancy, when I had enough quiet time, and my legs were not bloated beyond recognition, and my pelvic pain stopped throbbing for a moment, I reveled in the fact that a life is growing inside of me.
And such a beautiful stool!
So happy you enjoyed the Lemon Miso Pound Cake! I wholeheartedly agree that substack, books, and media need more and more diverse voices. Loved reading this too! Wishing you lots of peace comfort for the remainder of your pregnancy!
Thank you, Kristina! I look forward to trying many more of your recipes!
This is such a beautiful piece!! Thank you so much for sharing your reflections on this journey with us. It's such powerful stuff ❤️
Thank you, Sophia, for your kind words as always :)
Storytelling cannot be honest! It can be honest Sharing of experiences.
I respectfully disagree here. Storytelling can be absolutely honest. It's about telling stories that convey the emotional truths and the essence of life experiences.
I admit my mistake. I misunderstood meaning of honest storytelling. Thanks for reminding me very politely. My best wishes for your future endeavours.